Manager Review — Ted Klipner, By Adam Sandler
Hello my adoring fans,
its ME, adams stanler, probalby better known by the ladies as the SEXIST man alive. I would review a movie but piece of shit disease still deciding to ruin my career. Let me cut to the cake. I recieved bunch of letters from my sheeple fans after I EXPOSED my manager name of ted klipner for being a DINK, but aparently that didnt satisfy you people. You want me to tear him to smithereens, do you? You want me to launch his sorry ass into space?
TOUGH SHIT dingus, I’m not gonna do that. In fact, let me say a few humble words about this man. Ted kipner is nice, good manager, and most importantly sexy. I wish he would never get hit by truck.
WOOSH fooled you twice, didnt I? All that stuff I said was a bunch of junk and LIES. Heres a tip: read that whole paragraph again but put a bunch of NOTs in there. Why? Oh nothing… just cause my manager of ted klipner is the biggest DIPSTICK on earth, case closed.
Still don’t believe me? What do you need, bunch of proof of ted klipner being a dink? Easy peasy, the evidence is literally a mile long. Here are the top ten reasons my manager is a dink:
- Bald (If your bald no offense but remember that makes me better than you.)
- Listens to bugs (THE BEATLES)
- Drives a stupid jaguar
- Wouldn’t let me do Hat City (city made of all hats where I am mayor)
- Calls cops on me TOO MUCH
- Doesnt let me have two push pops. I AM AN ADULT
- Wears FRUIT OF THE LOOM
- Didnt come to my violin recital
- Refuses to call me SON
- Snores WAY too loud when i watch him at night
- Eats PEETA chips (worst chips)
- Allregic to dumb stuff like DUST and GETTING HIT BY A TRUCK
- BARREN BALLS
- Won’t let me test my new disease Sandleritis on him
- Drinks VOSS (POOR)
- PRETTY SURE HES A VEGERTARIAN
- Wont let me tickle him
- Cant do macarena for SHIT (pathetic)
- Watches boring old people shows like STARS WARS
- Has WEAK BONES disease
- Put me in shit movie CLICK
- ONION HIPS
There you are. As you can see, my manager Ted Klipner is a dink. Merry Christmas and to all a good night.
Adams “Big Rick” Salner, movie star