Movie Review — UNCUT GEMS — By Adam Sandler

Shoobie Doobie! It’s me, Adams Sandler, aka “hottest hunk in hollywood”, and today i am reviewing the movie name of “uncut gems”.

Heres the scoop: adam sander got a new movie coming out, starring ME Adams Sandler and some other bozos who cares. The movie is action movie with lots of cool scenes of me being a hero. When they told me movie is name of ‘uncut gems’, I was like “whaaaaaaat?”. I have no freakin clue what that means. Frankly i think I should get to name the movie because I could think of WAY better of names than that junk. I would rather call it “adam sandlers big adventure”, otherwise, how will my fans even know im in it?

Anyway, this movie will probably be the best movie ever made, even better than my 2011 romance movie name of “jack and jill” starring ME adams standler exept big TWIST im a big beautiful woman instead of handsome hunk like usual.

Here is picture of ME, adams salnder, looking HOT HOT HOT. when i shot this scene, i was high as balls because i accidentally put some tic tacs in my doobies. (that junk will mess you up NICE). i dont remember jack shit from the entire movie, but they fed me lot of salami (my second favorite dish) so i ain’t complaining. Whats my favorite dish you ask? Pepperonis of course. however, nothing is more scrumptious than doobies.

Anyway, please buy my movie on Blue CD and make all your friends read this review and BUY the movie but WARNING: do NOT watch it unless your at LEAST 10 in YEARS, cuz theres lots of swears such as “dammit” and even a scene where i WINK at a pretty lady. (my dipstick manager Ted Klipner made me do that warning for legal reasons, but personally i don’t give a RATS ASS even if a baby watches my movie, thats just more money for ME to buy more doobies checkmate Klipner).

I would give you a doobie if i could, but unfortunatey they all got my name on em (i sign all my doobies like Banksy so the cops know they’re mine but they will never know its me because I write it with my left hand, plus i never got past blue reading level in class).

P.S. dont ever forget, you’re my second favorite fan in all the world. If your wondering, worlds biggest fan of adam “J.D.” salner is…drums roll please… ME, adams sander, you FUCK.

Peace out, Adams P Sandler, movie star.